Gintama: Forever Chained
by Katsura018
Summary: "What? Toshi is back? Why?" "I don't like it..." "Hey... why are you so mean to Toshi all the time?" "Am I not allowed to play house?" "KAMUI!" "Sorry but... I don't like being called a dog, specially by aliens like you... and I hate being on a leash..." "They're free... You're too... you all just happen to love picking on dear Gin-chan's empty heart" warning: GinHiji
1. Chapter 1

CH 1: When life gives you lemons, throw them like fire balls back at life's sorry face if they're rotten!

* * *

"Oi, Yorozuya" Hijikata called, walking next to Okita as they went near the usual trio. Our three heroes were leisurely enjoying their free time, no work-time, at the usual dango shop where they'd often meet their clients, if they had any.

"Hmm?" The silver haired samurai took notice of the two as he continued to chow down on his dangos. He looked at them without any interest and kept focusing on chewing. "Oh! Toshi-aru! Neh, neh, Dango! More Dangos Please! This guy with the upside down 'A' hairy style will pay for it!" Kagura called the waitress. "Yes! One moment please." The Waitress nodded in reply.

"OI! Who said anything about buying you more Dango? Haven't you had enough already! There are 9 sticks on your plate!" Hijikata half-heartedly scolded the brat. "It's impossible, Hijikata-san. That female disguised monkey has a black hole in her stomach. The only think that may stop her from eating would be to rip her stomach right out with a sword." Okita said making sure it was loud enough for Kagura to hear.

"What'd you say, bastard!" Kagura quickly shouted back, immediately charging toward the Shinsengumi captain. "…haaa" Shinpachi sighed as he looked at two, already starting their own little match. "Gin-san, do something, it was so peaceful just a second ago…"

"Sorry about that…" Hijikata joined in. He sat down right behind Gintoki, who was now using the dango stick to clean his teeth. Shinpachi cringed at the sudden apology from the demon vice-chief "Hijikata-san… ah… no, it's partially Kagura-chan's fault… err…" he waved his hands around as he tried to explain. Hijikata looked at him quietly, as if he were listening.

"Ah!" the poor four eyed teen's shoulders jolted up in surprise. "Um… TEA! I..I-I'll go get some more TEA! Ahahha… excuse me!" He stiffly stood up and walked inside the Dango shop, escaping from the two. Okita and Kagura continued with their little fight like they were the only two people in the world, with Kagura mercilessly attacking and Okita mostly dodging as he tried for quick but numerous attacks.

Inside the shop, Shinpachi continued to peek at the two Samurais, they were silent, not even glancing at each other. _Uwaah… what pressure… I wonder what's up with those two, did something happen? Gin-san was acting pretty normal the entire day wasn't he? What is this? He's all quiet once Hijikata-san showed up… What do I do? I want to go back to my seat but I don't feel like going near them…_ He debated in his head as multiple droplets of sweat continued to fall from his face.

_Hmm…? What's up with those two?_ Okita thought, while fighting with Kagura he was able to get a quick glance at the two Samurais. With the millisecond distraction, he took a knee in the face as Kagura laughed with victory. "HAAAA!" the little china girl shouted. She stood up straight in front of Okita, who fell on his back, and couldn't help but glance at the two Samurais as well.

"Oi…"

The silence between the two broke. Gintoki called out to Hijikata as he still continued to pick on his teeth with the Dango stick. "…need me for something? Brats are starting to worry…" Gintoki said. Hijikata remained silent and continued to look down on the ground.

"Well… if you don't need anything then…" Gintoki stood up and spat the Dango stick out of his mouth directed at Hijikata's messy black hair and somehow stuck there. A vein popped right below the demon second in command's left eye.

"Oi! Brats, I'm leaving first…" he waved the two goodbye. "Ah! Gin-san! Wait!" Shinpachi finally stepped out of the shop, scrambling his feet as he followed Gintoki while looking at Hijikata's back, still remaining quite.

"What's with that? Do you have a job for us?" Kagura asked Okita, thinking maybe Hijikata was just being too prideful to ask their boss for help. Okita stood up from this position and patted his butt clean. "No… I just followed Hijikata-san here really. Didn't even expect for you guys to be here…" he replied properly, also wondering what was up with the two.

"Did you hear anything from Danna?" Okita asked this time. "Nothing, he was normal until you guys showed up, Stupid!" Kagura sprinted off to Gintoki and Shinpachi's side, already a few steps away from the Dango shop. "Hmmm…" Okita stared at their retreating backs for a while then started walking his way to where the Shinsengumi vice-chief was.

"Ah, they're gone?" one of the waitress noticed, she was holding on a plate full of dango that Kagura ordered. "Ah, excuse me, that's probably mine…" Okita took all the Dango sticks. "That guy is paying" he pointed at Hijikata and left.

* * *

"What was that all of a sudden Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked. "Who cares! The bastard's probably just being all stupid and arrogant about wanting some help from us again!" Gintoki said, annoyed. "Then… we should just ask him straight forwardly… maybe… and that we'd be more than happy to take on the job!" Shinpachi enthusiastically suggested.

"Ehhh?" Gintoki started picking on his nose this time. "Then, you do it! You seem like you really want to anyway. That guy's too much of a mess for me! Completely Troublesome!" Gintoki complained. "Yeah! Toshi is too TSUNDERE!" Kagura said with a loud voice. "Since when have you started learning such words Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi asked, worried their little girl might be exposing herself to a world she must not.

"Tsundere! Yandere! Dere-dere! Kuudere!~" Kagura started singing. "Wait! Where are you leaning these? You know too much! What books are you reading?" Shinpachi shouted this time. "All kinds of troublesome personalities~ dere~dere~ why bother naming them~ they're all pretty much the same~ anti-social~ plastic~ psychotic~ obnoxious~ annoying~ " Kagura continued to sing.

"Oiiiiiiiii^! You're completely ignoring me and insulting every Dere-girl and OUR types of girls, speaking of I like the dere-dere type. Don't insult our taste! They're all unique! Don't call our goddesses obnoxious!" Shinpachi scolded, eagerly trying to stop Kagura from singing.

* * *

'_Hijikata-shi…hijikata-shi….?_'

_Hmm? Toshi? _

_Hijikata-shi… is there…nothing I can do? You know… Sakata-shi may…_''

_Forget about that guy… For now…. I have no choice but to fight this on my own for now…._

'_But…'_

_Plus, you… aren't you supposed to be long gone by now? What are you still doing inside my head?_

'…_.sorry… but I promise to listen to you, and only come out when you let me… I promise… I won't ever take over your body unless you want me to nor invade your inner thoughts… just… please let me stay here for a little while more…'_

…_and why the hell would I say OK to that?_

'…_.Hijikata-shi…'_

_Well?_

'_Then… in return… please let me help you…'_

* * *

"Yes! Here you go! One Gintoki-special!" the shop owner announced, placing the bowl in front of Gintoki. "And One Hijikata-special!" placing the bowl right next to the other one.

_Tsk… I finally thought I could have a peaceful night… now of all times… why does this guy have to show up here? Tsk… completely troublesome…._ Gintoki grabbed his wooden chopsticks and started eating; he glanced at Hijikata and back to his meal. _…If you need something just say it! Too Troublesome!_

Hijikata stared at his meal…

_Well?_

'_err… then… let's eat…' _

Hijikata finally moved, he grabbed the bowl with one hand and held the chopsticks with the other and started eating. After one huge mouthful "Hurk.." his eyes widen and sprayed the contents of his mouth out. Gintoki was surprised too and moved away. "What are you doing bastard?!" he shouted at the other.

"…Hi-hijikata-shi… exactly…*cough* how could you eat such thing…. *cough* too much mayo…" Toshi coughed out.

…_.get used to it.._

"That's impossible… *cough* urgh.. the taste kuh… is coming back… up urk.." Hijikata tried to speak only to vomit on the floor where Gintoki was standing. "AAAAAAAAAHHH!" Gintoki screamed.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you? You got your shit all over my shoes and now the store owner has me looking out for you! Damn it!" Gintoki cursed. They were outside the shop now with Gintoki cleaning his shoes with a hose from inside the shop and Hijikata sitting at the bench outside the shop, still trying to calm himself and taking small amounts of water at a time.

"What is it? Did the old man's mayonnaise go bad? Not your favourite brand? Finally getting tired of the taste or maybe you're body has finally given up and is staring to break from eating too much mayonnaise? Haa! Serves you right!" Gintoki teased with a huge smirk and amused pair of eyes. Hijikata glanced at him with a glare before continuing to drink the rest of the water the owner gave him.

After a few seconds of silence with only the sound of water hitting Gintoki's boots and water going down Hijikata's throat, the demon vice-commander finally spoke but still not facing Gintoki. "Err…"

"Hmm?" Gintoki didn't bother to open his mouth. _So he's finally talking, maybe this is his problem. His current inability to intake his beloved mayonnaise… not that I'd consider that a problem… it's a hella better that way… no way I'm fixing it if that IS his problem…_

"...sorry…" Hijikata apologized, coming out more as a grumble of anger rather than a token of guilt for doing something bad.

"Eh?" Gintoki looked at Hijikata with surprise whose face was still staring at the ground.

"…Sakata-shi"

"EEEEEEEHHHHH?"

_To-Toshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?_

"YOU? YOU'RE TOSHI? What? Didn't you leave already? Aren't you supposed to be in heaven or hell by now?" Gintoki shouted. "What're you still doing here? Wasn't the show we made for you enough? Wasn't the zeroes spent for Shinpachi's medical fees after the match enough? Are you saying that we spent more than 6 episodes, I think, for nothing! That took a lot of time and effort you know! We could've spent those episodes for a more serious arc you know!" Gintoki ranted out.

Toshi in return, started bowing and apologizing and covering his ears while listening. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Sakatashiiiiiiiii!"

…_.Well…good luck with that_

'_Hijikata-shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!'_

…_What? You said you'd take care of it, didn't you?_

'_BUT!'_

"That's it! I'll make you go away! FOR GOOD this time!" Gintoki shouted with determination as he made a stance and held his sword above him, ready to strike Toshi.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Toshi shrieked. "WA-WA-WAIIIIIT! WAIT! SAKATASHIII!" he begged as comical tears started spraying from his huge eyes and small dot like pupils.

'_HIJIKATA-SHI! If you don't do anything now! We'll both be in HELL! Hijikata-shi!'_

…_..tsk_

"Get ready now… don't worry… I'll make this quick and easy…" Gintoki glared as his sword twinkled with the stars.

'_HIJIKATASHIIIIII!'_

* * *

Author: Yayayayayayaya…. Been a while, fanfiction-sama…. Hmmm… well… l hope I finish this one…. (TT^TT)


	2. Chapter 2

Ch2: Coy Love is a torture device for teenagers not adults!

* * *

A loud clash of metal hitting metal echoed outside the shop. Sparks flew as both swords collided and slightly grinded at each other. "Hnng?" Gintoki stepped back at the increase of force the other one was using against him.

The Yorozuya boss wasn't serious, he couldn't be, and he merely wanted to give Toshi a huge bump on the head to wake him up or scold him for all the trouble he caused. On the other hand, Hijikata gave the defence his all, no holding back.

Hijikata glared at Gintoki fiercely, the beastly look making Gintoki more confused and take one step back. _Huh? Is he for real?_ Gintoki thought.

Hijikata changes his stance and starts to make the first strike this time. "Oi! Wa-wait! Hijikata-kun? This is Hijikata-kun this time isn't it? Wa-whaaa!" Gintoki's questions were put on halt as he tried to quickly dodge the incoming blade, directed toward his sorry excuse for an adult's face.

"OI! What do you think you're doing?!" Gintoki shouted this time, not reaching the vice-chief's ears as the continued on with his attacks. Gintoki kept dodging and shielding himself with his own sword, the fearsome attacks were nonstop.

'_HIJIKATA-SHI!'_

"Hng?" Hijikata heard Toshi's yell inside his head and collapsed. "Eh? ah-" Gintoki caught the falling body before it hit the ground. Though completely limp and lifeless, Hijikata continued to have a tight grip on his cursed sword.

"What the hell? Oi! Hijikata-kun? Hijikata-kuuuuun? Are you okay?" Gintoki tried to wake him up. He placed the vice-commander back on the bench and had him sit up. Gintoki kneeled down and was no face to face with the unconscious Bakufu Dog.

"Oiii? Anyone there? Hijikata-kun? Even Toshi is fine, anyone wanna explain what the hell is happening here?" he continued, now lightly slapping Hijikata's cheeks alternately.

_Sorry… Toshi… Tch… _

'_Its fine, Hijikata-shi, we'll definitely find a way to fix this, so…'_

"Guwah!" Gintoki moved back from Hijikata when his eyes suddenly started to twitch. "If you attack me again, I swear-"

"I'm sorry about that, Sakatashi" Toshi apologized more sullenly. "Eh, Toshi?"

Toshi stared on the ground with his eyes hesitating to look at Gintoki. After a few seconds of silence, Toshi stood up "Err… Sakatashi… I…Please! Somehow! Please help Hijikatashi!" he bowed.

* * *

-Hijikata's room, working on paper work-

"Ouch!" Hijikata jolted, he slapped the back of his neck when he felt a sudden sting. "What was that? Didn't fell like a bug…" Hijikata looked at his palm, trying to see the perpetrator but there was nothing.

_Hmm? Well… never mind must be just a sudden chill…_

-Training time, Shinsengumi Dojo-

"Gaaaah! Vi-vice-Chief, Please! Some Mercy please!" one of his comrades pleaded. "Eh?" Hijikata stared in confusing at him. "Why would I show mercy to you lowlifes?" Hijikata asked eyes completely cold as if he didn't recognize his own team. "Vice-Chief?!"

"Yosh! That's enough training for now!" Kondo entered the Dojo and interrupted the near slaughter show. "Eh?" he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him but what he saw was no illusion. The entire dojo was filled with despair as his team, who were only supposed to be practicing, were all injured and in serious pain, some unconscious. Right at the center of the shaking bodies, was Hijikata Toushiro.

"To..shi? Ah, now now, no need to be so serious. I guess you all angered Toshi a lot huh? Not taking the training seriously?" Kondo cheerfully left the image of the old Toshiro he used to know at the back of his mind. It felt like déjà vu more and more as Hijikata went closer to him with such cold icy eyes.

Hijikata paused mere inches away from Kondo, with a drop of seat and an uneasy gulp Kondo opened his mouth. "Now, Time for lunch! Come on, Toshi!" he smiled cheerfully.

"…." Hijikata gripped his sword tight. _Kill…kill…_

_Hijikatashi!_

"Ah?" Hijikata's body shook upon hearing the familiar call. His eyes adjusting to where he was, he looked around and stared at what was in front of him. "Kondo-san?" Hijikata made sure.

"Eh? Ah.. something wrong?" Kondo asked, confused and worried at the same time.

"Ah… no… nothing… " Hijikata replied, unsure. He walked pass Kondo and left the dojo.

-Lunch, Shinsengumi Cafeteria-

"Vice-chief?" Yamazaki stared, all of them did.

They had no idea what was going on but… BUT… That… That Hijikata… was not eating mayonnaise. The vice-chief wasn't even glancing at the bottle. The bottle of heavenly mayonnaise was left untouched as Hijikata Toushiro the mighty mayo maniac ate.

"What is it?" Hijikata asked, not directly at anyone since everyone was staring anyway. "Ah.. no…" Yamazaki hesitated to talk. "Err… did… aren't you going to put mayonnaise on your food this time?" one of the shinsengumi members courageously asked. Most of them were still debating on their own heads whether it was a good thing or not.

"Hm?" Hijikata glared.

The shinsengumi member's courageous heart cracked. "Ah… bu-bu-but, vice-chief you always.. do that…" he continued, everyone's will was pushing the courageous hear to go on. _You can do it!_ They cheered with their eyes. _Why does it have to be me? Why don't you guys ask? You know what happened in the dojo! Vice-chief is in a really foul mood right now! I don't want to be a sacrifice! _He pleaded with mercy on his.

_It's fine! You can do it! You most definitely can! We'll raise our hands for you! Hurry up and fire the spirit ball!_ The other members continued. _ SHUT UP! _The sacrifice glared. _Now, I'm officially going to be known as a sacrifice…. _

Hijikata stared at the little lamb coldly. He looked at his meal then to the mayonnaise bottle and back to the shaking little lamb.

He felt a little pinch in his heart and grabbed the bottle of mayonnaise. Everyone's eyes glowed and smiles made their way to their faces, feeling the Vice-Chief's foul mood was gone or will be gone so long as he starts eating the mayonnaise infested meal.

Hijikata popped open the bottle and sniffed, he cringed at the stench. "Eh? That mayonnaise is new right?" the little voices in the cafeteria debated, all eager to know what was going to be happen next. "Yeah, it's vice-chief's favourite brand!"

"It's new, I bought it!"

"It can't be expired"

"Maybe someone with bad breath tried it, anyone?"

"Oi! Stop that! We're all sick of mayonnaise thanks to the vice-chief no one will ever do that!"

"Oi! Yamazaki you didn't put anpan in there did you?"

"Idiot! There's no way I could do something like that!"

Hijikata finally moved, he squeezed a little amount on his index finger and licked it clean. "Tsk.." He spat it right out.

"… I hate it… Mayonnaise…" Hijikata replied.

* * *

Author: hmm… I have nothing to say…. Well… that's it for now… thanks for reading… thanks for the review/follows/faves~ jyaaaa… …..meehehehehehehe


	3. Chapter 3

Ch3: When nothing good comes out of being quiet, shout out the opposite!

* * *

"Hijikata-san… really said that?" Shinpachi nearly screamed, terror and confusion in his eyes. "Yes… for some reason, whenever Hijikata-shi is in control of his body, he starts to really hate everything around him." Toshi explained.

* * *

After puking on Gintoki's boots and nearly killing the innocent samurai, Toshi explained the big difference that happened to Hijikata and how he was uncomfortable with going back to the Shinsengumi for a while.

"Fine, fine, so…" Gintoki looked at Toshi, who still kept his eyes on the ground away from facing the silver haired samurai. "Where do you plan on going then? Though it's a really troublesome job, I'll take it. You never know maybe Hijikata-kun really is just getting sick with Mayonnaise." Gintoki mentioned without showing any amount of interest in the job on his face.

"Well… for now, I'll go stay at a motel or something near here…" Toshi smiled shyly. "Thank you very much for taking the job. I'll come back tomorrow morning to explain it more properly… and help you guys think of something… then…" Toshi stood up from the bench and bowed again to Gintoki.

"…I'll be going then-" Toshi started walking away. Gintoki watched as he was a few steps away and sighed. "…just a sec" Gintoki called.

"Eh? Is there something-" Toshi turned his back to ask, he finally looked at Gintoki. "If you want, you can stay with us for a while… though I hope you'll be satisfied sleeping on the sofa-" he suggested, not looking like he wanted to at all.

"…no, its fine... thank you very much… but… I can't" Toshi replied.

"Oi..oi… here I am offering my place to you even though I really don't want to...well.. you really don't need to but- come on, it's better than staying at some cheap motel right? Just be grateful for this wonderful service Gin-chan is offering…" Gintoki said with a bit more enthusiasm, the one he was offering to wasn't Hijikata anyway.

"Sakata-shi… earlier… you saw how Hijikata-shi looked at you right?" Toshi asked, Gintoki stared at him as he remembered the beastly glare when they fought.

"Yeah, I saw…"

"Well… you see… last night… Hijikata-shi tried to kill Kondo-shi when he was asleep…" Toshi revealed.

"Eh?" Gintoki was stunned.

"I was able to wake up and stop him before he did anything serious, luckily no one found out about the attempt. I don't really understand but… If… by chance, Hijikata-shi takes control of his body during the night, he might try the same thing to you and the others… so…" Toshi bowed again to Gintoki and left.

* * *

'_Toshi… sorry about this'_

_No… Hijikatashi didn't do anything wrong…_

'_Really… sorry about this…'_

_It's fine, I'm an otaku remember! I don't need sleep! I…I won't let Hijikatashi take over… I won't let you do something you'll regret, no matter what…_

'_Toshi…'_

* * *

"Gin-chan this is more serious than we thought, Toshi is having withdrawal symptoms for Mayonnaise and cigarettes! Look! Look!" Kagura pointed out, not that she needed to. After explaining most of the case to Shinpachi and Kagura the next morning, the trio tried all sorts of things to make Hijikata's body accept either mayonnaise or cigarettes, which led to Kagura sticking a whole bunch of smokes in Toshi's mouth.

"Kagura-chan! He's dying! Stop that! Hijikata-sa-err… Toshi!" Shinpachi scolded as he tried to separate Toshi and Kagura. Gintoki watched the three from afar, they were at the park right now and he was sitting on the bench like some king next to Hasegawa.

Gintoki sighed as he watched; Kagura was now inserting a hose inside Hijikata's mouth while the other end of the hose had a bottle of mayonnaise strapped to it. "Yosh! Eat up-aru!" Kagura said as she started squeezing the bottle. All of the contents of the bottle poured down the hose and went directly to the near unconscious Hijikata's stomach.

"Kagura-chan, that's too much! Toshi! Keep it together! If you don't vomit this time, maybe it'll be good-" Shinpachi held Toshi's body up as the the mayo continued to pour. "Hurk…" Hijikata's face paled. "Buwaaagalklrjewlnelw…"

"Gah!" Shinpachi shouted. The vomit went up the hose and all the way back to inside the bottle Kagura was holding. "Ah… a bottle of vomit…" Kagura said. "Throw it away! That's disgusting!" Shinpachi ordered, still holding up Hijikata, now officially unconscious.

"Ah! Look! Gin-chan it's a bottle of Toshi's vomit!" Kagura cheered and waved around, she removed the bottle from the hose and went straight for Hasegawa and Gintoki to show it. "OI! Don't come here with that!" Gintoki shouted. In the background, Shinpachi was revealed that Kagura finally left Hijikata alone, at least for now, and was removing the hose from Hijikata's throat.

"Toshi? Are you alright? Do you want some water or tea?" Shinpachi asked, worried. "…wa..water please…" Toshi replied.

* * *

"Seriously though, how is this going to help? All you've been doing is forcing the poor guy to puke mayonnaise and smoke like a chimney…" Hasegawa commented.

"It can't be helped, right?" Gintoki pointed out, while trying to push Kagura away as she waved the puke filled bottle around trying to spill it on her dear father figure. "We… don't have a single clue yet as to how to fix him up." He continued to explain.

"But you know… isn't it because he's Toshi that's why he doesn't like mayonnaise or smoking?" Hasegawa said. "Eh?" Gintoki paused, getting distracted; Kagura successfully poured the vomit right on his head which earned her a big bump on her pretty little head.

"Why not bring out Hijikata-kun, you guys haven't listened to his side of the story right?" Hasegawa pointed out as well. "…but you see, last time that bastard came out he was all throwing daggers at me with his eyes and seriously trying to kill me! It's a bad idea! A really bad one!" Gintoki mentioned.

"Then.. Please Tie me UP!" Toshi invited, recovering from vomiting, he held on a long rope and some chains to Gintoki and was kneeling down. Everyone stared at them. "Gin-san… go on… please…" Shinpachi said, inviting him to do as he pleases. "Gin-chan! You Traitor! But… I'll allow it this one time… go on… it's for Toshi's sake anyway." Kagura joined. "Well… you're the expert with that so then…" Hasegawa also joined, all looking at Gintoki like the sadist pervert he really was.

A vein popped on his head as he was about to snap. "No! Gin-san is only allowed to tie me up and no one else but me!" Sarutobi screamed, coming out of nowhere like she usually does. She was kneeling down next to Toshi and also holding on to some rope, chains, and some candles, eagerly letting Gintoki use it as he wished.

"…Shut up pervert! No way am I into that! Even if I am, there's no way I'd do that to a pervert like you! Get off my back you bastards!" He snapped, trying to ignore Sarutobi and scolding his brats plus Hasegawa.

"Well.. well.. you're the sadist expert here so.." Hasegawa calmed him down. "Plus.. look.." he directed his gaze to Toshi. "PLEASE!" Toshi looked way to determined and…. Excited for some reason. _You too?_ Gintoki thought, the perverts are multiplying, Sa-chan is contagious.

"Hm… if it's tying techniques you want, I'll be happy to instruct you…" Tsukiyo popped out of nowhere as well. "Shut up! No one called for you! Be gone Tsukiyo! Gin-chan will only tie up the way he wants! He doesn't need your techniques!" Sarutobi started. "Ah… but then again… if gin-chan were to learn more then maybe it'd be more fun… then…" Sarutobi went to her dream world.

"Gin-chan, everyone wants to be tied up by you.." Kagura mentioned.

"Isn't that nice, Gin-san is so popular!" Shinpachi added.

"Now, go enjoy yourself Mr. Sadist!" Hasegawa finished.

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!"

* * *

_What the hell is going on out there… haha… _ Hijikata smiled as he looked through Toshi's eyes, the group scramble and continued pick on Gintoki.

* * *

"So? How is he?" Kondo asked. Back in the Shinsengumi headquarters, Kondo and Okita were talking privately. "He seems to be seeking help from Danna and his friends, Toshi… seems to be in full control but… for some reason he doesn't sleep…*yawn* it's kind of troublesome really…" Okita reported.

"Doesn't sleep…?" Kondo repeated. "Yeah… it's more like… he's afraid of sleeping really… he sometimes starts to doze off but fights it back by pinching himself and watching anime or playing with himself" Okita added something unneeded.

"Playing with himself? What do you mean?" Kondo asked, intrigued for some reason. "I have never seen Hijikata play with himself once! Nor any interest at all with that kind of stuff! Something really is wrong with him! Urrrghh… Toshiiiii…" Kondo wailed, little tears coming out of the corner of his eyes.

_It's the literal Toshi we're talking about here, the good for nothing otaku…. Well.. it's hard to believe Hijikata-san would even let him do that… or give him full control… or maybe… Toshi overpowered Hijikata-san… that's impossible… but… that night…_ Okita remembered. The attempt was not unseen. Okita looked at Kondo as the chief continued to worry about his Toshi. _There's no way… the normal Hijikata-san would do something like that… but he only left the barracks right after that night… well.. either way… if he tries anything like that again… I'd have no choice but to… _Okita thought.

"What do we do? We have to do something for Toshi! Come on! Let's go help the Yorozuya and-" Kondo suggested. "Ah… that was lie…" Okita interrupted.

"Eh?"

"…he never played with himself" Okita finished.

"So-sougo…" Kondo looked completely confused.

"I'm sorry I made a little mistake, I'm really not up to this spying thing really, Kondo-san. It kept me awake all night, you should send Yamazaki next time… then, I'll be leaving now…" Okita stood up and left the baffled Gorilla on his own, not noticing that he dropped his sleep mask.

_You… you were probably sleeping the whole time anyway weren't you? _Kondo's last thought.

* * *

"Yosh, are you ready Toshi?" Shinpachi asked. Toshi was now tied up, chained to the point he can't even move an inch while his sword was being held by Gintoki in front of him. They were back in the Yorozuya office.

"Yes!" Toshi replied, in a somewhat excited way. The expression made Gintoki smack the poor man in the head, hard. "Don't make it sound like we're going to be doing more than that to you, you pervert!" Gintoki scolded. "Nonononono… the thought never crossed my mind…Sa- *pant* Sa.. *pant* Sakatashi *pant*" Toshi tried, still looking excited.

"Gross… Toshi is gross…" Kagura said.

"Kagura-chan you can't say that, it might have the opposite effect on him, anyway… Gin-san maybe we should take over and let Kagura and Shinpachi play outside?" Hasegawa said.

"What are you implying? We're not going to do stuff here that isn't healthy for kids! We're going to be healthy! Completely healthy! Don't imply that we're going to be something not healthy!" Gintoki snapped.

"Calm down now… let's get started…" Shinpachi interrupted, he was holding a candle. "Yosh! You start Gin-chan!" Kagura joined, lighting up the candle and giving it to Gintoki, who in return placed the lit candle on top of Kagura's head.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It's hot! It's hot!" Kagura shouted as Shinpachi tried to calm her down and blow on the candle.

"Enough of this stupid joke… Oi… Toshi… bring him out…" Gintoki looked at Toshi seriously.

"I understand…" Toshi replied.

_Hijikatashi…._

Hijikata's body limped, completely not moving. After a few second of silence and tension, Hijikata's head lifted up and looked up to where Gintoki was.

Gintoki smirked at the eyes the demon vice chief was giving him.

"Yo, Hijkata-kun!" he greeted.

* * *

Author: Hmmm… well… that's it for today, sorry for errors etc. Thanks for reading down to here~!


	4. Chapter 4

Ch4: Clingy girls are the worst, but not as worst as clingy guys!

* * *

"Yo, Hijikata-kun"

Hijikata stared at the Yorozuya boss with overflowing killing intent. The easy going bastard countered the bold attack with a sly grin and amused eyes as he held the tied up man's cursed sword right in front of him. The room was completely silent as the two samurais stared at each other.

_What is this? This is way too intense, exactly what are these two thinking right now? _Shinpachi wondered around his little head, being extremely cautious, he held his ground and calmly waited for the two to do something. _For now, it's best to leave these two to their devices. Gin-san and Hijikata-san may hate each other a lot but they can be mature when they need to… for sure… right this very moment… the both of them are having a really heavy conversation between their stares… _

_Right now, these two men might have already started fighting in their minds, clashing their swords with their imagination. Expecting each other's movements and fiercely trying to know the other's weakness as they go on. _Shinpachi imagined the scene.

Hijikata and Gintoki, two mighty samurais he looked up on and respected a lot were gritting their teeth and grinding their blades together completely starving for their rival's flesh and blood. _Gin-san… Hijikata-san… _Shinpachi stared at them with awe; he noticed Hasegawa was also looking at them seriously.

With his arms crossed tightly, Hasegawa calmly looked over the two. _This two… they're completely in sync. _Hasegawa notices that Shinpachi was also thinking the same way he did and gave the hesitant bespectacled teen a stern look. _Let them be, Shinpachi… believe in him, believe in both of him, for sure, Gin-san will win the fight, over power Hijikata-san and bring him back to normal. Their mental fight isn't something the two of us can interfere with, heck, I doubt that they even remember that they're not alone inside the room… they're fight is too intense for us to join them… just let them be…trust them, Shinpachi-kun!_

_Ha-Hasegawa-san!_ Shinpachi called out in his mind. _He's right… I must believe in them… I… I feel so weak… compared to these two amazing samurais… I… I have no choice but to watch in the sidelines and pray that the both of them would reach a positive conclusion… Oh.. kuh.. I…I feel so weak.. and spineless…_ Shinpachi cursed himself; he made a fist with both hands and started to shake. When tears nearly formed in his eyes he looked at Hasegawa-san. _Hasegawa-san! _He called out again with his mind.

_It's fine Shinpachi-kun… you are still a child… you'll grow… and when the time comes…_ Hasegawa looked at him like how a father would look at his own child. _When the time comes… you… you will be the one in that stage where these two amazing soldiers are standing while the two of them cheer and push you back to move forward… one day… for sure… _

_Ha-Hasegawa-san!_

_Shinpachi-kun!_

"What is it Gin-chan, Mayora did the two of you poop in your pants? The two of you aren't moving." Kagura stopped the silence and the atmosphere is destroyed.

_KAGURA-CHAAAAAAAAAAN! LITTLE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS?!_ Hasegawa and Shinpachi cried in their minds at the same time.

"Gin-chan? That's not good; you should do it properly in the toilet or outside. You always get mad at Sadaharu when he poops near the house… what? Just because you own the place you think you can shit wherever you want-bastard?" Kagura continued as he patted the silver haired samurai's shoulder.

"Now, now, Mayora… you too… no need to hold it in, if it's already out you can just borrow Gin-chan's pants and boxers, you two have the same stench anyway… if you wanna wash off, don't be shy okay. The toilet is right there and it's free if you buy me some dangos tomorrow, but if you don't want to buy me some there's always outside… just be sure to be really far away okay?" Kagura was nonstop.

The two samurais kept unmoving.

Hasegawa and Shinpachi stared at the scene with shaking jaws and horrified faces. Eagerly waiting…waiting... for even a slight twitch of a finger from the two…

"….a sec" Gintoki whispered.

_This is bad! Kagura-chan! You shouldn't have interfered! Gin-san's definitely mad!_ Shinpachi and Hasegawa both thought.

"…gimme a sec…" Gintoki handed the cursed sword to Kagura and left the room.

_Eh?_

"Gin-san?" Shinpachi peeked out the room to see where Gintoki was going. He went to the toilet.

"…"

* * *

"Ha..haha… that Gin-san…haha… " Hasegawa started, disappointment seeping from every hole in his body. "Its fine Hasegawa-san…we… we should be used to this… haha" Shinpachi joined with contaminating the air with disappointment.

"Toshi? Mayora? What about you? Gin-chan already occupied the toilet though… should I give you a change of clothes? Want to take a bath? The only underwear Gin-chan has are pink with strawberry patterns, is that okay with you? I think he has plain ones but those are still dirty, do you mind if it's dirty?" Kagura asked Hijikata, somehow, looking and sounding very concerned in an innocent way. Adding the huge blue eyes, plump, soft, white cheeks begging to be pinched or poked and youth, no one would believe such words would pour out of her little mouth.

"Ka-kagura-chan… that's enough.. please… Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi begged, he couldn't bare it anymore, and if Hijikata were to somehow claim that his pants really were soiled, the poor teen's respect for the two samurais will shatter just like how a young man's first love shatters when he finds out his first love was a man that only looked like a girl but still continued to love him and accept her turning into a him but in the end the him was actually a her and was merely using the young man for his money thus, breaking up the most horrible way with the her that he thought was a him that really was a her kicking the young man's nuts in the street with him naked and penniless while the her that he thought was a him that really was a her ran off with another girl, turns out she was lesbian in the end.

"That's too sad! That story is too SAD! Don't write off my dreams to be that fragile!" Shinpachi complained.

"It's way too sad! Show me that young man! I'll have a drink with him! Give him some love! I feel too sorry for the guy! Oi! Give me… I mean him a happy ending, but while you're at it, give me one too!" Hasegawa joined out.

"Who are you two idiots talking to?" Hijikata asked.

"Eh? Ah… well the author is fuc-…EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH?" Shinpachi screamed.

"And… she continues to fuck with us…" Hasegawa cried.

"Oh! Mayora! You're talking!" Kagura cheered.

"Did I mention that the young man was raped after he was left in the street by a scary, bear man and suffered with haemorrhoids for the rest of his life?" Kagura added.

"ENOUGH WITH THE YOUNG MAN? HAVE YOU NO HEART?" Hasegawa and Shinpachi cried for the poor young man.

"Oi… you… Otae's little brother brat" Hijikata called out from his tied up position.

"Eh? Me? Yes?" Shinpachi reacted quickly.

"…." Hijikat stared at him for a while.

"Wha-what is it? Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi asked, nervous. _What-What could it be? He's looking at me so seriously…Could..Could this be? The time I take the stage? Is it my time to have a fierce blood thirsty fight with Hijikata-san? That…That is… it's too early…I… but for Hijikata-san to acknowledge me…_ Shinpachi imagined the scene.

Hijikata smirked.

"You… if something bad were to happen to you… you're big sis would be really sad, wouldn't she?" Hijikata said, malice in his eyes.

"Eh?" Shinpachi could only reply with confusion. _Why would he mention onee-san now?_

"She would, wouldn't she? She'd be devastated… and since that shitty gorilla sorry excuse for a captain is depressingly crazy for her… he'd be pretty mad at whoever made hurt- heh… killed you, right?" Hijikata asked, eyes completely blood thirsty again toward Shinpachi.

"Hi…hijikata-san?" Shinpachi backed up a bit, shock, confusion, fear swirling around his little mind.

"Haha… no hard feelings… just consider it as… you're a mere stepping stone so I can have a good fight with that worthless shit factory commander…" Hijikata continued on. "Sneak attacks weren't and will never be my thing… It'd be better to have him fighting for revenge… hehe…" Hijikata smirked, completely making Shinpachi's knees shake and continue to step back.

Hasegawa was in shock and was stepping back as well, Kagura kept her place right in front of Hijikata.

"Haha..haha… Hi-Hijikata-san… pl-please… this.. isn't the time… to be.. joking-" Shinpachi stopped, Hijikata was serious. _He…he's completely not himself… the way he's calling Kondo-san… Is… Is this really Hijikata-san? There's no way…._

"Gin-chan, Mayora is being strange…. I don't like him like this…" Kagura started. Shinpachi finally stopped walking backwards as soon as he felt a body behind him. "Gi-gin-san!" Shinpachi called out when he noticed who it was.

Gintoki was looking at Hijikata, this time, completely not amused with what the man just said.

"Yeah… I don't like it either…" Gintoki coldly said. Hijikata's attention was back on the silver haired samurai.

Hijikata grinned this time and opened his mouth to speak. Instead of words coming out…

"BUwaaagh!" Hijikata was quickly knocked out with one rocket punch from Kagura.

"Is it alright if I punch him?" Kagura asked.

Hijikata was unconscious… the man they were supposed to be talking to was completely unresponsive, after going through all that trouble to tie him up. Beloved Kagura-chan, you're adorable… but sometimes…

"YOU ALREADY PUNCHED HIM!" the group screamed and each took turns smacking to poor girl in the head.

* * *

Author: hmm… di-did anyone see that log horizon reference… maybe hehe… I try… at least… anyhow… thanks for bearing with the mountain of mistakes that's probably up there and reach down to here haha… then… next chapter…. Hmm… yeah… haha, sorry if it's hard to read too…


	5. Chapter 5

Ch5: Always ask yourself… Was it really JUST a fart?

* * *

Right in front of the Yorozoya Gin-chan headquarters. While Shinpachi and Hasegawa were imaging the epic fight between Gintoki and Hijikata that was only happening in their heads, while Kagura was busy playing with the candles again and sticking it to Gintoki's ass though he was still wearing his pants, while Gintoki was staring at Hijikata's face wondering when he'll start talking and wondering what was that thing he felt sticking in his ass, he couldn't just advert his eyes from the death glare Hijikata was giving him after all; who knows when that blood and flesh driven dog would strike and kill everyone on the room.

_Just now… I think I farted… what do I do? Did something come out? I can feel something in my ass? Hyaa! It's coming out! It's coming out! It's pretty thick! It's hot? It's warm! Hyyyaaaa! Someone? Please you stupid Mayora, hurry up and so something so I can move too! Shinpachi, Hasegawa what're you doing just standing there? Are you laughing? Eh? They're looking at each other with a serious faces. Did they notice? Is there a stain in my butt already? Don't look like you're struggling on telling poor Gin-chan has poop in his pants and just tell him Shinpachi! You're making a fist and shaking! Hasegawa, you too, don't look like you encouraging him! You're the adult, right? You should take the initiative and tell your friend truthfully that there's crap in his pants! Hurry Up! I beg of you! Someone start moving! _

Kagura starts twisting the candle.

_Hyaaaaa~! _

* * *

_What are they doing…? Ah!_ Yamazaki stalked. He was ordered by Kondo-san to stalk Hijikata and report immediately if he was into any trouble. Yamazaki was concentrated on watching the group, he watched it all. How Hijikata was tied up, how the group brought out candles, lit them up and handed them to the boss and how Gintoki looked at Hijikata, the amused smile, and how Kagura was sticking a candle in Gintoki's ass, adding the looks of self-hate(?) Shinpachi and Hasegawa were giving themselves and Gintoki.

_*Sigh* I don't blame them… for Danna to end up like that, getting a little girl to do such a dirty thing they must be really struggling on stopping him from going down that path, still though… for Hijikata-san to be interested in that stuff too… but… as expected I don't really get the gist of it at all… Hmmm.. wasn't Hijikata-san the one they're supposed to work on? Why is Danna receiving the special treatment while he just watches Hijikata stare at him…Ah! It's that kind of play… I see…I see…must be so painful to watch this for Shinpachi-kun…for his boss to end up like this…*SIgh*_ Yamazaki thought to himself as he watched from afar, a conveniently vacant room right in front of the otose shop, perfect for watching the Odd job's members and gazing at his beloved Tama-chan, who was currently sweeping the street

_Ah~ Tama-san is as perfect as ever~_ He distracts himself as he continued to chow down on anpan, his usual ritual, obsession.

While being distracted by the cyborg's beauty, Yamazaki fails to notice that Gintoki had left for the toilet and that Hijikata had begun to threat Shinpachi maniacally.

"Oi, Yamazaki, what the hell are you looking at?" Okita interrupts his Tama sighting. "Ah, Okita-san!" Yamazaki recognizes his arrival and takes his eyes off of Tama for a while.

Okita steps on one of the anpans. "So, how's it going with Hijikata-san?" Okita questioned, grinding the anpan under his sadistic foot. "Ah… they seem to be in some sort of play…wait.." Yamazaki ignores the poor anpan and looks back at the group of odd job's members plus Hasegawa and Hijikata.

"Ah… Hijikata-san is knocked out… and they're all hitting the little girl…" Yamazaki reported.

"Hnnn.. I see… For some reason, I wanna join too… oh well…" Okita sulked a bit. "…I'll just pretend I'm in it too then…" he continues to stomp on more of the anpan on the floor. "Ahaha…" Yamazaki half heartedly laughed. "Is there anything else, Okita-san?" he asked.

"…actually, the old man came to see us earlier this morning." Okita started to explain.

"The old man, Matsudaira-san?" Yamazaki asked.

"Yeah… that daughter-con, he announced something pretty troublesome earlier… " _The timing couldn't be any perfect really… _Okita spoke to himself.

"Okita-san?" Yamazaki called.

"Well… recently, Mimawarigumi has been getting a lot of attention, being the Shogun's bodyguard most of time… and the old man kinda doesn't like it. Something about the Shinsengumi being overshadowed, he really hates it. I don't why but maybe he was provoked or something, you know how his temper is, freakin annoying, always giving us more work and trouble... like keeping the city clean and safe, making sure there's no trouble, getting rid of every bad guy we see…" Okita cursed, his stomping on the poor anpans on the floor becoming more dramatic, if the anpan's contents were red, the room would look similar to a massacre case room, the two officers fitting perfectly in the sides.

"Well.. Those are jobs, right? Jobs for police officers are supposed to be troublesome right? You're a police officer, right-" Yamazaki pauses; a distorted anpan hits his face.

"To put it in simple terms, he wants to waste his cash on a silly show… not that I hate it, it could be interesting but I just don't like the timing that's all.." Okita grumbled.

"I completely don't understand.." Yamazaki commented, now eating the distorted anpan off of his face.

"…I mentioned it to Kondo-san, but you should be okay too… with Hijikata-san acting like this and all, the timing for the stupid couldn't be any more perfect… which is why… the odd jobs may get more work for them… hmmm…" Okita looked over the binoculars Yamazaki had. Gintoki and the others had started to pour water on Hijikata, begging him to wake up.

"Okita-san, really.. I really don't understand what you're saying, you know?" Yamazaki tries again.

"Well… keep up the good work, then!" Okita left.

"You didn't tell me anything in the end!" Yamazaki threw an anpan at the innocent door as soon as the door the sadist exited through closed.

* * *

"My, my, how very nice of you to give us such promising temporary members…" Sasaki Isaburo, chief of the Mimawarigumi applauded. "…Kiheitai"

Takasugi blew smoke on Sasaki's uniform and smirked. "Well… be sure to make good use of them…"

"Ah…geez… I'm not a toy though; treat me like your underling and it won't end up pretty…" Kamui joins in their conversation.

"Well… you're the one who's going to get most off of this, so you shouldn't be complaining…" Takasugi claimed.

"Tch.. Oi… This uniforms are too small.." Abuto complained as he tried to fit himself in the Mimawarigumi uniforms they were handed.

"Hahaha, you're just too big!" Kamui laughs, the uniform fitted him perfectly.

"…hmmm" Kamui's eyes direct to Imai Nobume's red eyes. "…interesting"

Nobume remains quite. _This person… is dangerous…_ she sensed.

"Now, now, she isn't your objective, is she? Be a good boy just for a bit and you'll be feasting on that samurai soon enough…" Takasugi took Kamui's attention away from Nobume. "…be sure to… leave not one drop of blood on him"

Kamui chuckled and licked his lips.

"By the way, about that kouhai you were talking about?" Abuto asked, remembering the recent conversation about the deal and finally ripping the uniform to shreds after much trouble of putting it on.

"Ah, yes… don't worry, he's a very promising man… he'll definitely be of use and be fun to be mail friends with, also, may I have your mail addresses?" Sasaki squeezed in.

"No way…" immediate reply from the two.

"…he'll be joining us soon, I'm sure you'll both like him as your junior… even I…" Sasaki continued to praise. "…am quite a big fan of him."

* * *

Author: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..well… haha… sorry for mistakes… thanks for reading… time for bed… nighty night~


	6. Chapter 6

Ch6: Refrain and reach Ecstasy!

* * *

_Hijikata-shi…_

'_The me, when I'm in control… Tsk…'_

_It's not Hijikata-shi's fault! I know that! We're talking normally here! Hijikata-shi is being himself here and I can hear him properly! I'll talk to Sakatashi and the others, I'm sure they'll understand that Hijikata-shi hasn't become such a person!_

'_Toshi…'_

_Hijikata-shi… is the same as always, a bit nicer now but… _

'_Toshi… tch, I get it so stop… I think it's better if you talk to them instead but… seeing how I acted with Shinpachi and Yorozuya I probably… hmm… why did I completely ignore the china girl and that other homeless guy though… Toshi'_

_Yes?!_

'_I want them to test something out for me…'_

_Hijikata-shi…? Yes!_

* * *

As the others were quarrelling and fidgeting about how to wake Hijikata up, Toshi regains consciousness and startles the group. "Ah! It's up!" Kagura shouted. "I don't want to hear something like that from a little girl!" Hasegawa scolded.

"Hi-hijikata-san?" Shinpachi called out of nervousness, he kept his distance just to be sure. Gintoki's hold on the cursed sword got tighter as Hijikata's head rose.

"No… sorry, its Toshi haha, no need to be so nervous…" Toshi looked up, an apologetic smile and twitching eyebrows painted in his face. "Hijikata-shi just suggested something to me now, he'd like you guys to test it out on him."

"Eh? You can talk to Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oh! Kinda like some multiple personality disorder thing? Interesting! Hey, hey, how does it work? How do you two switch?" Hasegawa asked, intrigued.

"…" Gintoki looked at the cursed sword in his hands and sighed. _So… they can talk to each other inside that body… Toshi and Hijikata-kun…_

"Eh? Well... it's hard to explain… it's all white apart from a cage like cave… before, Hijkata-shi would lock me up in there and I would hate him a lot for it… but after my arc, a little bit of me stayed in the sword, I'm not sure how I was able to materialize again inside of Hijikatashi though... whoever's outside the cage is the one in control while the other can watch from inside the cage. When the body is knocked out we can both go inside the cage and talk…" Toshi explained.

"Heeeh… that's amazing… so? Is the Hijikata-san inside also-" Shinpachi tried to ask.

"No! He'd completely normal! Too normal even! He's the same as ever! He hates this too! He's confused as much as we are! He didn't mean to threat you or anything Shinpachi-kun! Please understand! I'm sure he's sorry too!" Toshi tried to defend his friend, Hijikata watches the scene with a gloomy expression from Toshi's eyes and ears.

"Toshi-san… it's fine.. I believe you so…" Shinpachi tried to calm him down. "Hijikata-san really would never say something like that or even talk about Kondo-san like earlier, it's impossible for Hijikata-san!" he continued.

"…for the normal Hijikata-kun" Gintoki squeezed in. He stares down on Toshi and grabs the black strands of hair violently. "Ugh" Toshi grunted.

"Oi! You listening? I don't know what the hell is wrong with you yet and probably neither do you BUT-" Gintoki started, Toshi tries to calm himself from the slight sting in his head and listens properly for Hijikata to hear. "-are you the real Hijikata-kun? I knew you were a wimp but not by this much. Getting taken over and over again not even noticing that Toshi hasn't completely gone up yet… How many more times are you going to cause trouble? I'll help you out now but for a huge cost! You're already swimming in Gin-chan's generosity ever since the first time you begged us for help, don't you forget that!" Gintoki continued, the others can only remain quite as he scolded the demon vice chief.

"Don't just seat you're sorry ass in that cage of yours and push your friggin problems on us! What have you been doing in there with Toshi huh? Playing House? You have to pay for all this… I'll give you a debt so big it'll take a million of your life to pay off… so you better do something to get back to normal and start paying up…" Gintoki finally finished and released Hijikata's head, slightly pushing it down to annoy the man more.

"Gin-san…" Shinpachi whispered, worried and somewhat relieved.

They all stand silently waiting for a response.

* * *

_Hijikata-shi?_

'…_..'_

_That was a bit cruel even for Sakatashi right? Haha… I'm sure it's just his way of-_

'_-wrong with that?'_

_Eh?_

'_Is it so wrong to play house?'_

_Hijikatashi?_

'_Tch, crazy bastard, saying whatever he wants… Oi! Toshi, get in here!'_

_Eh? but- Ah- Hijikatashi? That's no good! You'll really kill Sakatashi if you go out!_

'_I'm not going out! Tell that bastard about my plan! My goddamn plan! Shove it up his pea sized brain and shout with all your might-'_

* * *

"Who's seating on his sorry ass and doing nothing?! Leave it you guys? As if!" Toshi suddenly screamed. "Get off your own sorry ass Yorozuya-bastard! When I'm back to normal, I'll definitely stab you with that stupid debt of yours till you choke on it and die!"

Gintoki smirked at the threat. "Hijikata-san?!" Shinpachi cheered.

"-is what Hijikatashi said" Toshi added.

"…." The group sighed.

* * *

"Let's see… Hijikatashi is completely normal, the one I talk to in our head… when he's out, he changes and I can't talk to him more like, he doesn't even recognize my existence and I can go out of the cage and put him back in, taking his place. His eyes would be dark and lifeless while, outside, he… he's not himself… well… that's what I see…" Toshi explained stiffening and body going numb since he was still tightly tied up.

"I see… how he changed… how was it?" Hasegawa asked, wanting to join the conversation.

"Ah! Sensei, He doesn't like mayo or cigarettes anymore!" Kagura raised her hand.

"Who are you calling Sensei?" Shinpachi squeezed in.

"No, originally Toshi was the one you forced to eat mayonnaise… and-" Hasegawa looks at Toshi.

"Ah, I don't like mayonnaise as much as Hijikatashi…" Toshi answered. "But, Hijkatashi also didn't like Mayonnaise and smoking when he was in control, everyone was really shocked when he said that he hated it."

"No one likes mayonnaise as much as Hijikata-kun, Shinpachi-kun…"Gintoki pointed out.

The group were all calmly talking over what Hijikata suggested, explained by Toshi. Hijkata's idea was to first find out what changed about him and why he ignored Hasegawa and Kagura while he hated Gintoki and Shinpachi as soon as he saw them and what happened to make him change.

"so… one of the biggest change is that Hijikata-san hates mayonnaise and smoking… anything else?" Shinpachi looked at all of them.

"Hmm… His actions towards the Shinsengumi and Kondo-san definitely!" Toshi added.

"Yeah… that gorilla assassination attempt even though we all know how Mayora really loves the gorilla!" Kagura pointed out, saying some unnecessary things in the process.

"…and how he treated his fellow Shinsengumi members in the training right? Don't say something so gross Kagura-chan." Gintoki scolded and started poking his nose out of boredom.

"Isn't Hijikata-san normally strict with training?" Shinpachi asked Toshi again.

"Yes… sorry, I didn't see most of it because I was asleep but Hijikata- ah…" Toshi paused.

"Toshi-san?" Hasegawa called out.

"Yes… Hijikatashi said that, the only thing on his head at that time was how he hates the Shinsengumi so much, how they were all so weak and stupid and other insulting stuff…" Toshi continued.

"…Uwaah.. cool! Cool! I want to have another person in my head too! It looks like fun-aru!" Kagura said.

"There's no way that would happen right? There's nothing in your head from the very start…" Gintoki claimed, he patted Kagura's head with the hand he was using to pick on his nose.

"All I can conclude from this is that he hates everything…" Shinpachi sighed.

"Then… what about me and Kagura, we were nothing to him… and it didn't feel like he hate you Shinpachi-kun. He just wanted to use you as a stepping stone to get to Kondo-san right?" Hasegawa mentioned.

"Yosh! To make sure, let's go with the next step…" Gintoki announced. "What was it again?" he looked at Toshi.

"Err… right… I'll explain Hijikatashi's plan… again… for now, please leave, except for Kagura-chan…" Toshi ordered.

"Hya! Don't do anything weird to me! Don't make me do anything weird!" Kagura accused in a very dramatic way, the others ignored her and left the room.

"I'm not going to do anything! Don't worry! There's no way I'm interested on doing anything weird to a little flat ches-" Toshi argued, interrupted by a smack in the head from the china girl.

"…for now" Toshi struggled to talk after the painful blow. "…remember what you need to ask Hijikata-san right?" Toshi asked. Kagura nodded her head politely.

"Okay then… I'm bringing him out…" Toshi announced. "Don't bring out anything weird in front of a young precious lady like me!" Kagura mentioned, Toshi painfully tried to ignore and call out Hijikata.

"…." After a second, Hijikata losses consciousness and regains it quickly right after. He raises his head to look at Kagura.

"…" They stare at each other.

"…"

* * *

"What-what do you think? What're they doing in there?" Gintoki whispered. While the two were left in the room, the others were only outside the room sticking their ears on the door to hear anything interesting and act quickly if something bad happens.

"Kagura-chan's just gonna ask what Hijikata-san feels for her right?" Gintoki added.

"Don't make it sound like it's a confirmation for what they feel for each other! This isn't like that" Shinpachi scolded, careful on the volume of his voice.

"I'm kinda… excited now…" Hasegawa added.

"Shh! This is to find out why Hijikata ignored her earlier! And why is it that he doesn't hate her when he hates everything else!" Shinpachi tried to whisper.

Without a warning, the door slides open. "Uwah-ugh" the guys scramble for a second as soon as they saw Kagura right in front of them, they notice Hijikata was about to look at them and quickly grabbed Kagura outside and closed the door.

"…." Hijikata remained quiet.

"OIiiiiiii! What're you doing? Why'd you leave?" Shinpachi asked, frantic and worried.

"Did he make weird faces at you Kagura-chan?" Hasegawa asked, concerned and obnoxious.

"Just tell your oni-sans and oji-sans here! We'll take care of him for you!" Gintoki acted out.

"….no" Kagura blushed. "…my maiden heart was beating so fast…I can't confess just yet! Don't make a little lady like me confess all of a sudden-aru!" Kagura punched Gintoki and ran away outside the house.

"Who's confessing? You? Since where were you in love with Hijikata-san? You're talking this asking what he feels for you thing too seriously and making your own little world again!" Shinpachi screamed.

"Little miss!" Hasegawa called out as well.

"It was too much for her guys… don't worry, she'll soon grow and gain courage on her own one day… leave it to fate!" Gintoki nodded to himself, extremely proud of what he just said.

"Please stop that… I've been saying, she wasn't confessing, she's no pure hearted maiden, she's just an idiot…" Shinpachi claimed. "Please take this seriously you guys… we need results otherwise Hijikata-san's efforts in testing this out would be for nothing… this is risky you know, he's all alone there. Who knows maybe he already got out… ah-" a droplet of sweat formed on Shinpachi's head.

Hasegawa and Gintoki kept quiet. _I don't want to go in there… _they used their faces as a communication device for Shinpachi to understand. _You go in there!_

"That's not good! We already know what he'll do to me, Gin-san too! It's your turn Hasegawa-san! Go!" Shinpachi ordered.

"Impossible, impossible! I can't do it! It's too scary!" Hasegawa struggled as Gintoki and Shinpachi pushed him forward to the door.

"It's fine, Toshi's in there too plus he ignored you… it'll be fine" Gintoki kept pushing. Shipachi slid the door open and Gintoki kicked the poor man inside.

"Uwaah.. ah" Hasegawa stumbled to gain his balance. He looked over to where Hijikata was, still tied up, he sighs in relief.

"Ah.. ahaha… Hello there…" Hasegawa tried, scratching the back of his head. "…" Hijikata remained quiet. "Errr… ahaha… well.. err.." Hasegawa gulped down.

_Damn it, I need to take this seriously… _Hasegawa thought. They stared at each other.

"Hijikata-san…" Hasegawa addressed him, seriously.

* * *

"Oh! Hasegawa-san might be able to do it!" Shinpachi said, trying to think of ways Hijikata may respond.

"He's probably going to get ignored again…" Gintoki commented. The two continued on eavesdropping.

* * *

"HI-hijikata-san… I… Wanna know… really… want to know… err.." Hasegawa started fidgeting.

"…err… actually, I like you…. Can you please tell me what you feel for me? Teehee~ 3 Go easy on my fragile heart…" Hasegawa blushed.

* * *

"This isn't a confession!" Shinpachi screamed.

* * *

Author: …..sorry for the errors above (if it's a bit confusing feel free to ask away~) thank for reading down to here… and the review…

to Minoru Black : Don't die (XDD) You still have to finish Masked Demons!


	7. Chapter 7

Ch7: It's a Love-Hate Relationship, mostly Hate!

* * *

"…." Hijikata remains quiet and stares at Hasegawa.

"Err…" Hasegawa hesitates to talk. _This is bad, this is bad… What do I do…? Gin-san? Shinpachi-kun? Toshi? A little help here, I have no idea what to do now? Do I wait for a response? The only thing he's doing is staring at me. Wait, is he checking me out?! *GAAAASSSP!* This-this is… I have to-_

Hasegawa's sunglasses shine as he stands straight in front of the quiet Hijikata. He starts making different poses. He started with poses that would expose his muscles a bit, his tiny muscles and started flexing. Making his chin bigger and occasionally striking a huge smile, nearly blinding the tied up man's eyes with its glint.

* * *

"Gin-san…. What the hell is he doing?" Shinpachi asked, completely giving up on scolding him. They were peeking inside the room through two very small holes they made on the sliding door, they'd have to fix that later and pray Hijikata doesn't sense them.

"I don't even want to know anymore…" Gintoki replied, giving up as well.

* * *

Hijikata blinks, now looking a bit curious or confused as to what the homeless guy was doing in front of him. Hasegawa noticed it and starts making cute poses. Making cat ears with his hands and placing it on top of his head while swaying his hips and raising one leg. _How do you like that? Pretty cute, yes? How's that? Hurry up and tell me what you feel about me now! Hahaha_ Hasegawa convinced himself he was a adorable.

"Oi…" Hijikata finally opened his mouth. Shinpachi and Gintoki's attention completely shifts to the demon vice chief.

"Yes?" Hasegawa grinned with confidence.

"…who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing? I think I've seen you before with the Yorozuya but never bothered to remember what or who you are." Hijikata cruelly stated.

This time, Hasegawa was the one quiet like a rock, no, he turned to stone. After his effort of making those poses and actually trying to help this man with his problem, he didn't even know who he was.

Hasegawa gets enveloped with black aura and looks at the door where he knew Shinpachi and Gintoki were looking through with, giving them both a very pitiful look.

* * *

Shinpachi and Gintoki ignore the expression. "Yosh, now we have Hijikata-san's look on Hasegawa-san, he doesn't care whether he exists or not…" Gintoki concluded.

"Yes, it might be the same for Kagura-chan too… he just doesn't care for them… so… he doesn't particularly hate everything around him…hmm…" Shinpachi tries to think.

"What do you think Gin-san?" the teen asked, the two still ignoring the expression Hasegawa was looking at them with even when Hasegawa walked all the way to the door and peeked through the hole Gintoki was using. Hasegawa's dreadful face filled with despair was right in front of the silver haired samurai separated by a door and only seeing each other through a little hole. Gintoki saw right through the man, he doesn't exist, nor his cry of help.

"Well… next one then…" Gintoki stood up straight and slid open the door. "Ah! Gin-san, you can't! Wait till Toshi is back, he'll try to kill you!" Shinpachi warned. Gintoki ignores the teen and pushes Hasegawa away and outside the room as the samurai entered. He slides the door close and stands right in front of the demon vice chief.

The moment he entered, Hijikata had already started glaring and being cautious of the man.

"Yo! Could you stop looking like you want to gnaw on my bones already? It's really uncomfortable you know." Gintoki stated, he sat down a few steps away the tied up man, completely confident of his tying skills.

"I really don't like you… at all… if you don't want me glaring at you, don't ever show your face in front of me… " Hijikata hissed back. "…You freakin annoy me all the time…"

"That's great! I hate you too, a whole lot!" Gintoki countered with a grin, as always.

"…heh, that's great then" Hijikata smiled back, appearing a bit genuine yet fake at the same time after the death glare he was giving the other samurai.

"…hey, you really don't like me one bit? Not even a little?" Gintoki asked.

Hijikata took his time in answering after looking at Gintoki closely. "hmm… I… don't hate you so much-"

Gintoki's eyes twitched from annoyance.

"…but if it's between hate and like, then HATE wins by a huge margin, perm-bastard…" Hijikata glared with a beastly grin.

"Pft" Gintoki smiled. "That's that, then…"

"…why'd you laugh?" Hijikata asked.

"Did it bother you? Speaking of, doesn't getting tied up like this for a long time bother you at all or even the reason you're here of all places?" Gintoki replied with a question.

"..hm.. my body feels a little numb, but I don't particularly mind being tied up… this place.. Stinks of you, I hate it…" Hijikata answered properly. They were finally going somewhere.

* * *

"As expected! Gin-san is getting some answers! Hasegawa-san what do you think?" Shinpachi asked with much eagerness and relief.

"…who cares, I don't exist anyway" Hasegawa miserably replied as he appeared nearly transparent to the teen.

"Yeah, who cares-aru… we don't exist in his eyes…. After confessing to him and everything too-aru…." Kagura sniffled, contaminating the atmosphere outside the room with despair and shattered hearts.

"Please stop that, we're finally getting clues here on what's changed about Hijikata-san…" Shinpachi tried to ignore the two nearly ghostly creatures next to him.

* * *

"heh, so you also don't LIKE how Gin-chan smells so sweetly, okay, okay… now…" Gintoki purred a bit, very amused with the reply for some reason. "You hate mayonnaise and smoking too, right?"

"I hate it!" Hijikata immediately replied.

"You hate the Shinsengumi?" Gintoki continued on.

"HATE it!" a quick reply again.

"Kondo-san?" the silver haired samurai went on.

"kill…" Hijikata hissed. His eyes excited and lips beastly smiling like he was imaging the dead Gorilla's body right in front of him.

"….then, what about clingy girls?" Gintoki asked after a short pause.

"…like them" another quick reply.

* * *

Gintoki stood up and whacked Hijikata in the head. "Come out of there Toshi… go on report to Hijikata what just happened… we're probably on the same track now…" Gintoki ordered, he walked to the door and slid it open to see the shocked Shinpachi and transparent Kagura and Hasegawa.

"Don't overwork your brain or it'll slime down your ears Shinpachi… you understood it somehow right?" Gintoki asked, not bothering with the other two.

"Gin-san…" Shinpachi looked at the samurai with a blank expression.

"He's become the most troublesome thing I could ever imagine, he was awful with it from the start and I really didn't like it whenever he acted that way… what do you otakus call it again? He's become that, the ultimate form of THAT!" Gintoki lightly smacked the teens head.

"…err… I don't understand what you're saying Gin-san. All I know now is that Hijikata-san hates the stuff he used to like and likes the stuff he used to hate…right?" Shinpachi replied, rubbing his head where he was smacked.

"Yeah… something like that… geeeeez…" Gintoki scratched the back of his head, ruffling and messing his silver strands in the process.

"Hey… doesn't this mean…" Shinpachi started.

"…what?" Gintoki asked.

"…originally, Hijikata-san actually kinda likes you?" Shinpachi finished and receives another smack in the head. "…that hurt Gin-san"

* * *

_Hi-hijikatashi?_

'…'

_Hijikatashi?_

'…_uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh'_

'_Hi-Hijikatashi? What's wrong? This is great right? We know what to be careful of now! You hate what you originally liked! Now we just need to find out when it started! Ah! It started with the training probably… since you really hated Shinsengumi from them on and stuff! Hmm… did anything significant happen before that? Hijikatashi?'_

'_..uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, damn it damn it damn it'_

_HIJIKATASHI? What's wrong? Please talk to me! Hjikatashi?_

'_TOSHI!'_

'_YES?!'_

'_I…I…most definitely HATE that Yorozuya-bastard with every fibre of my being! NEVER FORGET THAT!'_

'_Eh? …..yes?'_

'_I most definitely HATE his stench! Earlier…earlier… he's just… I respect him! I RESPECT HIM A BIT! A BIT! A microscopic BIT!'_

…_.hijikatashi?_

'_And that small amount of respect must be the reason why I hate him so much right now! That's gotta be it!'_

…_.yes_

'_At least sound like you believe me! NO, BELIEVE ME damn it!'_

…_yes, the amount you used to like somewhat, say Kondo-san which you respected a lot and would be willing to die for, is the same amount of how much you hate him now, where you seriously wanna end his life… I believe you… truly_

'_Shut up already….. So I let's say I respect the bastard a lot, would you be happy and satisfied then huh?'_

_No… I don't really care and it doesn't really matter Hijikatashi… its completely fine for me… its fine if you like Sakatashi that much… and his sweet smell…_

'…'

…_.its fine_

'_...you know, there was that one answer I said that I didn't hate him that much, that if I were to choose between hate and like-'_

_It would be HATE by a huge margin_

'…_.just shut up'_

* * *

Author: Ugh… I'm sorry for making you imagine Hasegawa with the cute poses, really… I really hate it for some reason…. Yayayayaya… and sorry, I didn't mention in the summary but this IS GinHiji in the later chapters ahaha… yeah… summary sucks… randomly did it ahahaha… err… thanks for reading down to here/ bothering to read this and sorry for the mistakes up there ahahaha…jya~


	8. Chapter 8

Ch8: Magic Food only appears when the fridge's door is closed, that's why you can't see anything but feel something enough to check again and again!

* * *

Earlier that day, before Okita went over to see how Yamazaki was doing with the stalking, the Shinsengumi members were all leisurely wasting their time playing cards or watching TV. Okita was sleeping just like always while wearing his eye mask and snoring. It was a very peaceful morning. The demon vice chief wasn't around and there was no one who made them train and boss them around.

It was completely calm, the chief, Kondo-san was probably busy stalking the love of his life at the moment and no one bothered to find him. Little laughter, goofing around and the nice calming sound of the wind chime was the only thing they could hear. It was the perfect morning, until the gorilla appears being shoved inside the room and creating a huge whole on the paper thin wall.

A loud crash and smoke appeared from where he fell, some of the Shinsengumi members playing strip Othello being crashed into. "Chi-chief!" the group called in unison; all wondering what the hell just happened. Okita was still sleeping.

"Kondo you piece of shit! What have you been doing all this time huh, bastard?" if the man talking wasn't wearing a uniform, he'd be accused for a Yakuza boss. He stomped inside the room through the hole he made with the Shinsengumi Gorilla with a bazooka resting on his shoulder, sunglasses, a cigarette between his lips and a big frown on his face.

Every Shinsengumi Member scrambled on their feet, bumped on each other, tried to turn off the television but ends up switching from TV to blu-ray player and playing a porn video with a theme of cops and their chief, tossed their cards away and was desperate to make a line in respect to the god of destruction's arrival. Okita was still sleeping, Kondo was seeing stars.

They salute to the old man in formation as the geezer looked over them with disgust. The room would've been quiet, if it weren't for the lewd sounds coming from the television.

[Ah! Ah! Please~! Chief, forgive me! Have Mercy~! Aaaahn~] the female porn actress moaned.

[You have to properly listen to me! I'm the chief! If I say take off your panties in front of the whole squad! You have to do as I say!] The role playing actor scolded as he continued thrusting inside the woman who role played as a cop.

[Ah! No! Only… ahn.. I want… only the chief…to see… me…take…ah…off~ Hya!] The porn video continued playing. All of the Shinsengumi members tried their very best to stay on position, sweat dripping on their faces and eyes struggling to not look at the old man and specially the television.

"….If it goes up, forget about cutting your bellies for now and cut the thing that goes up off instead." The old man sat in front of the television lazily turning his back on them.

"….ug…um…roger" All the members hesitantly said in unison.

"I don't hear you!"

"ROGER!" they said in a louder voice.

"WAIT!" Kondo immediately stands up. "Ju-ju-ju-just what are you doing perverted old man!" he pointed at the old man. "Didn't you have anything to say to them besides that?! Why are you watching that now of all times?! Didn't you come here for a reason? Did you just wanted to kick me and leave me half dead or something? For now, STOP WATCHING THAT!"

"Shut up, stupid Gorilla. Tsk, I'll be confiscating this…" he took the cd from the player. "AH! Oi! I haven't watched it yet! I haven't had a chance to use it yet!" Kondo added.

"Didn't I told you to shut up, good for nothing Gorilla?! Oi, where's the remote? Switch this back to TV and change the channel." The chief of the national police looked around, he saw the remote near the sleeping Okita.

"Oi, Sougo-bastard, if you don't get up and change the channel in the count of three I'll shoot you right where your silly bratty dreams are coming from…" he takes out his pistol and aims at the still sleeping Okita Sogou, commander of the first squad.

"So-sogou!" Kondo calls out.

"Yosh… ONE" the god of destruction ends the count at one and pulls the trigger.

"Where did two and three go?!" Kondo still surprises himself.

A loud bang was heard from the pistol and another from where the pistol hit, the remote.

"Ah… sorry old man, the remote is a goner." Okita used it as a shield.

"You bastard, how dare you use the innocent remote's life as a sacrifice for your bratty ass." the chief scolded using his yakuza tone as usual. "Remote-san's mother and father are going to cry because of you, you ungrateful midget."

"Just when did the remote have a life and parents? Did you meet them? You met them didn't you? Is that why you're here? The remote was a runaway, wasn't he? How could a remote have parents?! Sougo! Old man, calm down!" Kondo interfered with the two.

"Well… enough with your Gorilla rants, I'm a pretty busy man, you know? I don't have all the time in the world to play with your immature balls and watch you're kiddy porn vids…" the old man finally stood up straight, slipping the cd in his inner pocket and faced the Shinsengumi members in their formation.

"What is this man saying? He just took the kiddy porn, didn't he? Just now, he was about to get into an immature fight with Sougo wasn't he?" Kondo said to himself, ignored.

"Listen up you good for nothings! I HATE it! I really hate it! Those elite-bastards! They're all frills and white ribbons, those girls." He started. Okita finally peeked from his eye mask and was watching with one eye open. Kondo stood a few feet away from the old man while the other members stood straight with their hands on their backs as they listened well, some sweated out of nervousness.

"BUT if there's one thing I hate more than those made-up-copy-cat of ours… is…YOU GOOD FOR NOTHINGS!" he glared at every one of them.

"..ugh" Kondo gulped down nervously as his comrades did.

"Especially when all you do is sit around here playing with your junk and doing nothing about how they're taking your spotlight! Do you understand? Normally you guys would be in charge of guarding Sho-chan's path to becoming a man, but nooooo… the task was given to those girls this time…" the old man started to rant. "…and what do I see when I get here? You guys watching this kiddy stuff and playing with yourself! Makes me really regret ever picking you guys from the street, should've just left you all starving there…"

"…o-old man, come now, calm down… it's bad for your heart, you're pretty old and all… so? Where were we supposed to take the shogun this time anyway?" Kondo asked nervously ignoring the whole regret thing the old man just said.

"A nightclub…" he answered.

The picture of the Shogun sitting still in one of the luxurious corners of a nightclub while nearly naked people danced appeared before their minds, as well as the Mimawarigumi standing still in the background fitting in completely. Some of the members coughed and tried their best not to laugh; they didn't fit in at all.

"…is what I suggested but those elite-bastards completely shut down the idea and suggested to go to some shady art convention or something those girls like a lot. In the end, I had to pay for the nightclub's reservation cancellation and everything…" the geezer continued.

"In the end, that's the real reason why you're mad isn't it? Also, you're the one that shamelessly suggested the nightclub idea, why are you blaming us? Of course, no one would want the Shogun to go to a nightclub especially after what happened last time in the hostess club…" Kondo pointed out.

"So! I suggested a fun way to show those girls their place to Sho-chan and he humbly accepted, said it could be the perfect entertainment for his birthday. Some bastard-amanto are going to come too so why the heck not?" the geezer ignored Kondo.

Okita stood up and took off his eye mask completely, finally. _A fun way?_

"Listen you herd of idiots! Tomorrow we'll be having a match with the Mimawarigumi in front of the Shogun!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH?!"

* * *

"So? What do you guys want us to do about it?" Gintoki picked on his nose as he sat king-like in front of the Shinsengumi first squad's leader.

"Come now, Danna. The timing is too suspicious, especially with how Hijikata-san is like this…" Okita looked over to where Toshi was, still tied up. Okita appeared the minute Shinpachi was smacked in the head the second time by Gintoki and asked for a job.

"Listen here, it's too troublesome! This guy's too much of a trouble already and you just jog in here adding more trouble! No way, no way am I doing it! Don't you guys have trust with your members? Think they're all too weak against those elites? Does that Gorilla-Chief know about you asking for help?" Gintoki stood his ground.

"We'll pay you… whatever the amount you want…" Okita said.

"….." Gintoki stared at him with a 'what the heck are you saying, can you hear yourself right now?' expression.

"Ummm…" Toshi interrupted. The two look over to where he was, Shinpachi, Kagura and Hasegawa were peeking from the hallway.

"…Hijikata-shi, said that Okita-shi should go back and forget about it-degozaru" he passed on the message from his inner self. "…and, Sakatashi, how long am I supposed to stay tied up like this?"

"….See? Even the high mighty Vice-Chief doesn't want you asking for our help!" Gintoki scoffed.

"…the guy who let his guard down and turned into an ultimate Tsundere has no right to talk…" Okita said, he stands up from his seat and walks over to where Toshi was.

"Okita-shi?" Toshi called, confused.

Okita unsheathes his sword and with one slash, releases Toshi from the sadistic ropes.

"What are you doing?! What're you going to do if he goes berserk again?!" Gintoki stood up and panicked.

"Then just let him… he's worthless anyway, just let him try kill Kondo-san. All the more excuse for me to kill him and take his job…" Okita sadistically smirked. "Then he wouldn't have any more authority to tell me what I'm not supposed to do, right?"

"O-o-oi! Calm down! What do you think you're doing? Don't turn my beloved home into a massacre scene! Okita-kun!" Gintoki tried to stop him; Okita continued to swing his sword toward Toshi, who luckily continued to dodge.

"U-uwaaaa~!" Toshi panicked. "O-okita-shi! Please STOP!" he sees his cursed sword in Gintoki's hands and quickly runs for it. "Oi! Come back here!" Okita ordered.

"GAh!" Gintoki screamed when Toshi pounces on him to get the sword. Toshi successfully retrieves his sword and stands up proudly, quivering. "Ha-haha!" he faces Okita to see… a demon, a sadistic demon pointing his menacing sword right at him.

Toshi runs away. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Wai-wait Toshi! Where are you going?!" Shinpachi screamed as he tried to follow the speed of freight. "Toshi! Come back! You still haven't told me how you feel about me-aru!" Kagura added in.

"Enough with that!" Shinpachi scolded.

Okita followed as well but stopped right outside the house. "Tch, he got away…" he receives a hard smack in the head. "-ouch!"

"Bastard! Look at what you did!" Gintoki scolded.

* * *

Author: ….I'm hungry… sorry for the mistakes, gaaaaaaaaah rewatched a bit of gintama and I completely forgot how toshi uses 'degozaru' GAAAAAH I'm really SORRY!…thanks for reading from all the way up there to all the way down here and surviving~!


	9. Chapter 9

Ch9: Asking for a trim and ending up with an afro, thank the barber!

* * *

_Happy Birthday to you! _

_Happy Birthday to you!_

_Happy Birthday to you!_

The distant song rang in the Shogun's ears as he slowly woke up from his deep sleep. As he opened his eyes the disturbing dream slowly disappeared with the faces of the Amanto who sang and clapped for him as well as the near transparent strings attached to a Shogun-like puppet.

"Shogun-sama, it's time…" one of his servants called.

"…understood" the mighty Shogun, Tokugawa Shige Shige stood up from his bed.

* * *

"Yo, goodmorning birthday boy" The chief of the National Police greeted him with a grouchy face of a yakuza as usual.

"Good Morning and Happy Birthday, Shogun-sama" Sasaki Isaburo respectfully greeted as well.

"Oi, frills shouldn't you be down there getting ready? What're you doing getting all chummy with the higher ups here, ahn?" Matsudaira sneered.

"It's fine, even without my help Mimawarigumi would have no trouble being successful in this show..." Sasaki replied with a stone face as usual.

"Tsk…"

The three were sat a few feet away from each other with the Shogun in the middle as they watched inside a gigantic room with a huge flat screen television. The channel they were on was showing a montage of the Shogun's baby pictures all the way to his adulthood; the Shogun blushed as his little naked baby self was shown while the reporters, females, were giggling.

The next thing the reporters showed was the Shogun's Palace, heavily decorated for the celebration and strictly guarded with hundreds of cops, Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi mixed together.

[-and for the Shogun's entertainment. The Chief of the National Police has prepared a special event for him today!] The newsman reported. [You all know of them, the mighty blood thirsty dogs, and violent Shinsengumi who have been in charge with the anti-foreigner groups] the television now showed a montage of the Shinsengumi pictures and videos of them all working together, mostly how violent they all were.

[-and the professional, classy and elite Mimawarigumi!] The newsman was full of praises for the white wearing guards and smart-ass remarks for the black guards. The trio remained calm, stone-faced, and stiff with irritation as they watched the Mimawarigumi's pictures and videos slid with more grace and special effects compared to the Shinsengumi montage.

* * *

-Somewhere 10 kilometers away from the palace where the newsman and the crew were-

"Now that I've introduced them, for the beloved Shogun's birthday, these two groups are going to face each other with all their might! Exciting? It is very Exciting! But don't you worry about the security, only a few of the members will be horsing around! Each special police force will choose two representatives for three matches! That means only six members of the both forces will be goofing around for our pleasure ahahaha!" the newsman announced.

"That newsman is really starting to annoy me Gin-san…" Shinpachi blurted out of annoyance as his eye twitched.

"Gin-chan, when are we getting to the Palace? I wanna see Soyo-chan already-aru! Neh, Gin-chan?" Kagura asked as he tugged on the man's yukata repeatedly.

"…what am I doing here…" Gintoki asked himself.

"Don't be like that, Danna… it's a good opportunity to endorse your business, the 'will do everything for you wannabees something' will get a lot of customers right after this for sure…" Okita butted in, carrying some Shinsengumi uniforms for the three.

"I don't need this sort of way of endorsing! No thanks!" Gintoki ranted. "Is this how you tax-spending officers do their job? Huh? Leave it to innocent commoners like us to save your sorry asses?"

"Now now, Danna, the reason why we collect taxes is for you, the commoner's sake you know? Hurry up and change please…" Okita ordered them and tossed the clothes to Gintoki.

"Not wearing it!" Gintoki nearly screamed in anger as he caught the clothes with one hand, tightly gripping it and nearly tearing them. Okita sighs.

"Danna…we promise to pay you for your efforts, medical bill and funeral and even give you a life supply of choco parfait so just go with it, and look, your brats seem pretty excited about his to you know…" Okita looked over to where Kagura and Shinpachi were.

"No… I'm not really excited…" Shinpachi quickly denied.

"Neh, neh, Gin-chan… when are we going to the palace and see Soyo-chan! I wanna see Soyo-chan already!" Kagura's tugs continue. Mainly the only reason they ended up there in the first place.

[Now then! For both teams to choose their representatives for the first match, you gotta know what you'll be doing to win, right?!] the announcer called out, every one there directed their attention to the man. The group of people only contained some very few passer bys, few members from both teams to choose representatives from and some innocent audience.

[The match will be-] he dramatically pointed to the sky and then to the direction where the Shogun's palace was. [A bicycle race all the way to the Shogun's Palace!]

All of the members started discussing about who to choose.

"A bicycle race? What do we do? Who is it? Someone with enough stamina and who knows how to ride a bike?" Yamazaki looked around the Shinsengumi members.

They were all quiet.

"…oi,oi… don't tell me none of you know how to ride a bike?! What are you? Elementary students that had no daddies to teach them how to? Oi! Okita-san we're in serious trouble here!" he faced the man.

"Well.. that's that, we'll be waiting for you guys in the palace… I'll go get a cab… who's coming with?" Okita asked as he walked away.

"Oiiiii! You! Wait right there..geh-" Shinpachi called out quickly. "-why are you going too, Gin-san?!" Gintoki walked right next to Okita.

"Gin-chan, me too… I don't know how to ride a bike too…-aru and I wanna see Soyo-chan already!" Kagura tagged along.

"Come back here!" Shinpachi ordered, ignored.

"Its fine Shinpachi-kun, we can't choose from them anyway… the members can't be reused… who knows what the next match will be, they'll be more helpful there… I hope…" Yamazaki reminded him.

"...urg… fine, fine!" Shinpachi started wearing the Shinsengumi uniform, apparently only the two of them knew how to ride one among all the members that were present.

"Thanks a lot Shinpachi-kun… hmmm" Yamazaki looks over to the Mimawarigumi's side. "I wonder what kind of person they'll be choosing… he have to be careful…" He looks over the group more intently. Some members leave the little circle they made for discussion and moved away enough for Yamazaki to see who was in the middle.

He saw the long silky straight black hair. He saw the biker's jersey with the name Mimawarigumi on it, making him look all the more professional. He saw the shiny white road racer. The long haired man secured his helmet and Yamazaki saw the eye patch. It was-

"Zu-zura?" Gintoki, Okita and Kagura stopped for a bit to look at the competition.

"Zura janai, Captain Pepe da!"

He receives a kick from the Yorozuya gang plus Okita and Yamazaki.

* * *

Author: wah… kinda short haha but I wanted it to end there, Hijikata disappeared haha… as always, I apologize for the mistakes and appreciate dear readers that reached all the way down here~ jya~ oh, next chappy there will be parody of...hm...look forward to it, kinda obvious though ahaha!


	10. Chapter 10

Ch10: Two digits? A true racer only needs to know one digit, ONE!

* * *

"Guwaaa!" Katsura's face fall flat on the ground.

"gi-gi-gintoki… everyone… wha-what are you doing here? Ah! Why are you wearing the Shinsengumi uniform Shinpachi-kun?!" Katsura asked in disbelief, thinking he was betrayed.

"SHUT UP! What are YOU of all people doing here? Who are you? Have you forgotten who YOU are huh? Of all places, why'd you think of showing up HERE?! Plus, what are YOU wearing?! What? You're part of Mimawarigumi now?! Who the hell is Captain Pepe?!" Gintoki continued to kick the poor Joi leader, who knows he might receive a blow to the head and gain some common sense.

"ouch ouch OUCH! It hurts Gintoki!" Katsura begged and tried to grab at least one of the legs that was abusing him. "Don't you understand? This is one of the biggest chances to get close to the Palace, the Shogun!"

Gintoki spits on Katsura. "Bastard, don't come crawling to me if you get into anything you didn't plan for, idiot!" Gintoki started walking towards the cab they got. "I don't know you! I know nothing!" he went inside.

"Wait! Gintoki! This is such a good chance! Let's work together! You can help me and trick the Shinsengumi aswe-" Katsura was about to suggest when a sword nearly sliced his face half as it was implanted hard on the ground inches from his beautiful face.

"….yeah, really… this is such a good chance… Isn't it Yamazaki-kun?" Okita sadistically smiled. "Yes, yes it is, Okita-san" Yamazaki agreed.

"wa-wa-wait! I… I'm Captain Pepe! What are you doing to me? You're cheating? You're cheating aren't you?! Getting rid of the competition before it even starts! Such dirty tricks, you guys are definitely the Shinsengumi!" Katsura crawled away from the sword and was sure that even the announcer could hear his cry for help.

The announcer and audience looked over to where they were. "Tch… can't be helped, Yamazaki!" Okita called over the spy. "Yes, Okita-san!" Yamazaki acknowledged.

"…Catch that guy right after winning against him, make sure you don't fail." Okita ordered and headed to where the cab was, inside was Kagura and Gintoki. "Yosh, to the Shogun's Palace please!" they said in unison.

"…" Okita stared as the cab started its engine. "Just wait a sec!" he ran as fast as he can.

"Sorry about this Shinpachi-kun you don't need to help capture Katsura-san right after…" Yamazaki said.

"No… it's fine actually please let me help you with that if it's alright let me beat him up right after as well…" Shinpachi replied, determined as he glared at Katsura with annoyance.

"Shi-shinpachi-kun…" a drop of sweat comically formed on Yamazaki's head.

"Hahahahaha! You fools! You really think you can win against me, Captain Pepe and my older brother Angel? Hahahaha!" Katsura laughed as if the pathetic display for help was a thing of the distant past and wasn't worth remembering. Elizabeth appears next to him in a groom outfit.

"Why is Angel here? Isn't he supposed to be getting married on the day of the race?! Did you leave Carmen all alone? You just left your bride somewhere? What kind of groom are you? DO you have any idea how hard it is to find a woman nowadays?" Yamazaki pointed out.

"Hahaha! Carmen is…" Katsura looked over to where the palace is. "…waiting for us there!"

"I'm sorry Katsura-san, but what's going on in the palace is a birthday party not a wedding ceremony, would you please stop that? The image of Elizabeth getting married with the Shogun is too disturbing…" Shinpachi voiced out.

"Ah… such sweet innocent youth, Shinpachi-kun, don't worry one day you shall fine the one you would want to spend the rest of your life with and you'll understand everything." Katsura stated as if he were the teacher and went back to Mimawarigumi group with Eliza-Angel.

"No… now you're making me not want to understand anymore…" Shinpachi talked to himself as Katsu-Pepe's laughter slowly disappeared.

"Don't worry about it Shinpachi, you'll find that woman one day for now… we must save Carmen from marrying a groom that would leave her on her own…" Yamazaki said, already fully suited and complete with his road racer.

"…Yamazaki-san I can see you're also getting really into it…" Poor Shinpachi had enough. "I don't want to say anything anymore…"

* * *

The representatives after a few minutes are now behind the starting line. All four wearing biking suit versions of their team's uniform, white for Katsura and Elizabeth with the Mimawarigumi name and black for Shinpachi and Yamazaki with the Shinsengumi name.

The announcer holds a little gun and points it to the sky.

"Let's do this, Shinpachi-kun!" Yamazaki cheered. "Yes!" Shinpachi replied with determination.

* * *

"Oh oh! It's starting-aru!" Kagura cheered as they listened to the radio in the cab.

[Now now, everyone out there watching or listening the race is now about the start! Look at those determined faces they have pasted on! With just the intensity, I feel like a bomb will explode right after the gunshot ahahahaha! With this heat and pride of their teams on their backs, who knows how this is going to end!] the announcer kept on talking.

[Finally! Time to start!] the loud bang was heard, signalling that the trigger was pulled and the start of the race. [Ooooh! Look at the-BUWAAAAAAGH!] Another explosion is heard, this time louder than the first one.

[An explosion! A bomb really did explode! GAAAAH! Ah- the riders kept on going and are ignoring their teammates! AMAZING! Such determination! It's as if they're saying, leave it all to them, they will avenge you! Amazing! Such trust! Such respect! Su-GAAAH! Ouch! Something was thrown toward us-eh?] Another huge explosion was heard and the radio starts playing static.

"Just what the heck is happening there? Scary, lucky that we got out of there before it started!" The driver said.

"Yeah…" the three replied in unison.

* * *

-Shogun's Palace-

The two were silent, awaiting the Shogun's reaction.

"hmmm…" The Shogun's eyes change into serious mode. Matsudaira and Sasaki await his command, that was definitely a terrorist or a Joi attack. [Ah!] Another announcer gasps, she was on a helicopter and viewed the venue from above. [This is!] The smoke cleared out and she could see that all the people were covered with confetti, colourful paint, and glitters. [Ahahah! I was a bit worried but look closely at how the people are formed!] The unconscious near dead bodies were lined up lying on the ground, forming the characters 'Happy Birthday Beloved Shogun!'.

[Woah! Amazing! This is amazing!] The announcer cheered.

"….." the Shogun blushed. Sasaki and Matsudaira remained silent while in the shadows of the venue, the Joi members smirked as they looked over the unconscious Mimawarigumi and Shinsengumi officials.

* * *

"Katsura-san… just now…" Shinpachi tried to start a conversation as they rode. In the front were Shinpachi and Katsura, riding behind them and conserving their energy were Yamazaki and Elizabeth.

"Hahaha! Don't try to distract me, Shinpachi-kun it won't work! Ahahaha!" Katsura laughed.

"No… I'm not trying to distract you it's just… just now… behind us..." Shinpachi tried to question the obvious culprit again.

"Ahahaha! Not working!" Katsura continued.

They were currently in a very wavy and steep road as the route was to pass the hill on their way to the first checkpoint, the highest point of the hill, a perfect road for climbers. "Shinpachi-kun!" Yamazaki called out.

They were reaching the part of the road where the climbers are to leave the team and aim for the checkpoint. "Roger!" Shinpachi speed up and chained gears, moving pass the Joi leader.

"Hmph" Katsura also change gears and starts speeding up. "It's useless Shinpachi-kun there is no way you can beat me!" Katsura threatened.

"Katsura-san, I've always respected you! On normal terms and a real fight I'd have no chance against you… but maybe here, no, HERE! I will definitely beat you!" Shinpachi countered, completely determined.

_Hmph, nice eyes… the pride of youth is definitely something I must simply laugh on! Fine then, Shinpachi-kun I, Katsura Koutaro will face you with all he's got!_ Katsura thought to himself.

_This is bad, Katsura-san's also very serious about this… I… have to do something…_ Shinpachi tried.

Both of them pedalled hard and continuously without stopping as the peak of the hill came nearer.

* * *

"…." Yamazaki remained quiet.

"…." Elizabeth doesn't say anything.

"Errr… Shinpachi-kun will definitely win against Katsura-san Haha!" Yamazaki provoked and smirked at Elizabeth.

"…." Elizabeth doesn't say anything.

"Errr… he will definitely! You're going to lose! After he shows off it'll be my turn and you'll be seeing nothing but my dust on your face! Coffee-bean lips!" he continued.

"…." Elizabeth doesn't say anything.

"Hahaha… what? Scared? So scared you can't say anything? Hahaha! You must be jazzing now, neh?!" he continued as if this was his only chance to actually bully anyone

"…." Elizabeth doesn't say anything.

"…." Yamazaki stopped. _I can't take this… it's too awkward… the silent treatment _

* * *

Author: aaaaaah…forgive me but though I may be a bit masochistic I really don't like the silent treatment since usually it results to me being silent as well… so.. err.. even a flame would be nice… let me know you're there and that you stayed for the ride up to now… tell me my mistakes I don't care… thanks for reading down to here and sorry for the mistakes up there… that's all… jya… oh and parody and stuff from Nasu, Katsura's and Elizabeth's false characters


	11. Chapter 11

Ch11: Water in your ears always comes out whenever it's inconvenient to make a face that says it feels good!

* * *

"Yosh, Shinpachi-kun! I, Katsura-no, right now CAPTAIN PEPE humbly accepts your challenge as a man and will fight with everything he has!" Katsuro stood up on his bicycle.

_Ah! Dancing already?! No way, we're still at least 4 kilometers from the checkpoint! Why would he dance now all of sudden? This isn't good, Katsura-sans stamina may be his advantage, if he gets a good distance from me now I'm not even sure I can catch up…_ In a panic, Shinpachi also stands up.

_I won't let you make distance between the two of us! I'll stick to you like glue if I mus-ah…_ Shinpachi looked over to where Katsura was, his bike… had rockets attached to them that were triggered to come out when he stood up.

Shinpachi remembers what Katsura told just now… meaning… fighting with all his might meant this.

"That's completely CHEATING!" Shinpachi screamed but was too late. "Ahahahahahaha! Farewell~ Shinpachi-kun!" Katsura laughed as the rockets started to push Katsura and his road racer away from the poor teen.

"Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! You can't do that! Isn't anyone watching this?! Where the heck is the referee or something! Ah!" Shinpachi spotted the helicopter above him that was filming the entire scene. "Oiiii! DO something about this! He's disqualified right eh-GAH!" Shinpachi quickly avoided the stuff on the road left by the Rocket and Katsura.

It was, once again, glitters and paint saying all kinds of graceful greetings to the Shogun. Little Shige Shige blushed again. Katsura had left a trail of rainbow like praises directed to the Shogun. The helicopter crew also admired the work and forgot how the work was even displayed there.

"Oiiiiiiiii! Do something! You can't just let this slide like that! And one of the writings there is saying 'Die, Shogun!' can't you read! That's obviously his hand writing! Oi! Learn to listen, Damn it!" Shinpachi's cry was ignored, the helicopter crew couldn't even hear him and sang praises of the colourful road and how fast Captain Pepe was.

_Damn it… can't do anything about it… damn it…. What should I do… What should I do… ah-_ Shinpachi notices something attached to the handle bar.

-flash back to where the race was just about to start-

"Shinpachi-kun, here you can borrow one of the road racers!" Yamazaki pulled the bike built for speed toward Shinpachi.

"Ah, thank you very much, Yamazaki-san… woah, it's completely black… and so light! I've never rode a road racer before in my life. I wonder if I'll be alright…" Shinpachi worried himself, embarrassed.

"its fine, this is my first time too!" Yamazaki said.

"Is this team going to be alright…? It's already completely written in stone that we're going to lose isn't it?" Shinpachi pointed out without a second thought.

"Don't worry about it! I know you have it in you! You're slender and long limbs, those glasses that nerdy hairstyle and the fact that you're an otaku! You're perfect for it! You… are definitely a CLIMBER!" Yamazaki cheered him on, comparing him to Ono** of Yowa***** Pe***.

"What are you talking about? Do you even know what a climber is? What does being an otaku have anything to do with being a good climber?"

"Oh, another thing-" Yamazaki ignored the bespectacled teen. "-this, if you're ever in a pinch… just remember to enjoy yourself, it's all about rhythm!" he continued to encourage as he attached something to the poor teens handle bar.

-end of flash back-

_This is… a music player… but why?_ Shinpachi looked at the music player as he pedalled. _Well.. no point in wondering about it now, I don't have a choice but to trust Yamazaki-san… I… I have to catch up to Katsura-san no matter what!_

Shinpachi placed the headphones in his ears without losing balance and looked at the songs in the player. _This-This are~!_

* * *

"Hahaha…" Katsura laughed to himself. _There's no way Shinpachi –kun can catch up to me now, it's impossible… but… thanks to his determination I've revealed my only secret plan for a sure win… well… it was worth it… I'm sure he must be happy right now that I, Katsura Kotaro showed all of his strength against a youth such as him ahahaha! _Katsura felt so proud of himself as the he started pedalling again and the rocket one out of juice.

He sat back into position and leisurely pedalled, it was only a few meters away from the peak of the hill.

Nothing but the sound of Katsura's pedalling and breath was heard in the hills. _It's quiet… this is… the best… the peacefulness of being in the first place… aaaah…_ he gratefully accepted the soothing atmosphere and the soft kisses from the wind… and the sound of tires somewhere a few meters behind him.

_Impossible! It can't be! He was at least 4 kilometers away! It just… it had to be someone else! Elizabeth? Is it her… but… _Katsura panicked and started to pedal a bit more furiously. _That is-_ The sound of the tires behind him gradually became louder and the man making the sounds finally goes inside his field of vision.

It was-

"…anata *pant* no *pant*" Shinpachi was nearly breathless as his lungs begged for air and his muscled cried for rest. He ignored the cries and continued to move them with everything he got. He was facing down from exhaustion as he pedalled and went on with a cadence of nearly 200 to catch up with the cheater.

_Shinpachi-kun! It's impossible! In that sort of distance, just what is this boy?! But he looks completely drained… there's nothing to worry about… but… that cadence… at how many rpms did he go to reach me in such a short time?! Shinpachi-kun you certainly are one hell of a youngster… I should've never let my guard down… _Katsura started respecting the young man.

The distance grew thinner as Shinpachi pedalled with constant speed and Katsura, having been resting with the rocket pushing him, was slow compared to the teen with his muscles a bit stiff and unready for a sudden burst of overwork.

_Tch…._ Katsura cursed his leg muscles and gave his thighs a hard punch. _Keep it together! You can't let this kid get any more closer before you reach the peak! _

"….sukoshi…shikiso…ga…." Shinpachi muttered.

_What? What is he muttering about? It's like I don't even exist! Is he already unconscious and running of mere pride and spirit? Is he muttering in his dreams right now…?_ Katsura thought.

"…usui no ne…Anata no hokuro…. Yo-yoku miriyaakesho kegahaeteru…" he continued, a little louder this time still with his head faced down.

_This kid…. He's… he's singing?! _Katsura realized and finally noticed that Shinpachi had ear buds on and a music player attached to his handle bar.

"Shi-Shinpachi-" Katsura tried to call out but was interrupted when-

"OMAE SOREDEMO NIGNEN KA! OMAE NO KAACHAN XX HITA!" Shinpachi started singing with all his might as he started swaying around with his face filled with excitement and a huge smile, he was in complete party mode and was forgetting about the race or Katsura's presence. Katsura stared as the boy just continued pedalling without thinking.

He just stared at the poor boy as Shinpachi passed him.

_To lose to a youngsters like this…._ Katsura thought.

They were only a few meters away from the checkpoint. Shipachi pedalled continuously and at top speed with the rhythm, it was like the serene atmosphere Katsura was worshipping never existed.

"OMAE SOREDEMO NIGNEN KA! OMAE NO KAACHAN XX HITA!" he was completely in his own little otaku world.

_To lose to a youngster like this…._ Katsura's aura turned pitch black, forget about his muscles, forget about how unready he is to speed up. Katsura stood up and readied himself to start dancing. He had only one thing on his head right now, to not lose!

Shinpachi was too busy singing not even noticing how the checkpoint was right in front of him and a demon looking like Katsura was dancing like crazy behind him.

Mere feet away from the checkpoint, Katsura and Shinpachi were parallel to each other as they continued to pedal. "-XX shita!-" the song ends. "Ah-?" Shinpachi slacks off on his pedalling and goes back to the real world.

He sees the demon like Katsura next to him and completely pauses in freight. Katsura quickly passed the checkpoint and stretched his arms up in victory.

"….ah" Shinpachi nearly cried...

Katsura looked over his shoulder to where Shinpachi was as he rested a bit on the way down the hill and smirked.

"I'm sorry… Yamazaki-san…"

* * *

Author: parody of Yowamushi Pedal ahaha, it doesn't belong to me, nothing belongs to me! Thanks for reading, kinda boring chappy ahaha…. Sorry for mistakes! Jya~!


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